Dear Skinny Bitches Downstairs...

Seriously. Laying out in bikinis in the parking lot is totally Whiskey Tango.**

Also, I'd appreciate it if you could keep your incessant giggling to a minimum. It is especially annoying when you're showing out to the chlamydia twins (my other downstairs neighbors) by taking it up a decibel or 12. Your inept attempt at "flirting" is painfully transparent, not to mention awkward. (Think: dorky Mathlete asking the head cheerleader to the prom on the latest episode of MTV's MADE. Yeah. It's that bad.)

So simma down bitches, k? Thanks.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE,
C



**Whiskey Tango = a family favorite. Whiskey = White. Tango = Trash. It allows for the ability to discuss white trashiness whilst in earshot of those earning said title. Learn it. Use it. Love it. You're welcome.